Ugh!

This has not been the best week.

I know it’s only Thursday, but, it’s just been one long horrible fucking week so far.

Started over the weekend when the sewage drain backed up. Late Saturday night to be exact. Everything sent down the drain started flooding out from under the toilet in my bathroom. I spent the entire weekend cleaning sewage water off my floor. Why does stuff like that happen on the weekend? Why does it happen on a holiday weekend?

Since I didn’t have enough to pay a plumber for a weekend, much less, an Easter Sunday call, we had to wait until Monday to get the pipes cleared out. $230 bucks. literally down the damn drain. It would have been $380 for the same twenty minute visit on Sunday.

Seriously, go into plumbing if you can. That is where the money is.

It’s just been downhill since then. My bathroom now smells like mildew. I can’t find the source. I’ve cleaned it, and cleaned it. I can’t see anything in the baseboards that makes me think there’s water damage, so it must have seeped behind into the drywall… isn’t that fun?

We’re just now, late Thursday getting the last of the towels washed. It’s taken three an a half days to get through them. We used every single solitary towel in this house before I remembered I have a carpet cleaner that can suction up the overflow water. It’s taken so long because we’re washing each load twice, just to make sure we got all of the sewage out. I swear the washer hasn’t stopped running. And the dryer is ready to quit and join the circus I do believe.

And it’s been downhill ever since.

I’d use the term cascade but that’s taking the theme too far.

I don’t know. It’s like… I just sat in my chair yesterday staring at my computer wanting to do something but I kept getting teary and I don’t know why. Like… I hit some wall and I keep hitting it and I can’t stop hitting it. And the wall is giving out at the base and I know it’s going to fall on me but I keep hitting it. Does that make sense?

I’m tired. So yeah, it’s all cascading down on me. Health, finances, other people’s needs. I can’t keep going this way and I know it, but there’s not one damn thing I can do to stop it.

I need to write something. I need to rebuild. I need to do something. I searched myself on TikTok last night. I don’t exist. I’m so far back in relevancy I may as well not exist. But then I’m more relieved to have found nothing than to find hate postings about my work, so I guess there’s that.

I don’t know… is it better to be forgotten than to be hated?

I know there are people who still find my work and love it. I thank you so much. You are in the minority.

Ah, it’s another whine and complain post… rinse repeat…

So, enough of that, let’s just skip to the reminders.

The next round of books leaving Kindle Unlimited will be out on the 10th. That will just leave the Scrimmage and Adventure INK series in, and they leave on the 24th. I have no plans to return to KU this year. If I drive over to Florida before Saturday and accidentally buy the winning billion dollar lottery ticket, then all of my books will disappear… but since that’s not happening, I guess they’re safely going to be available at Amazon, Apple, and Kobo for the foreseeable future.

Uh, what else… I desperately need to refresh the Crescent Moon and Shift in Time covers. And maybe the Beyond Complicated cover. I’d like more of a fantasy style cover for the two witch books but BC is too hard to get right. Not in the financial cards right now.

Which brings me to the discourse on book covers on social media and all of the cartoon covers. I don’t like them. I mean, I think One True Pair and Falling Back could probably stand a cartoon cover, but I still don’t like them. I need something darker for River’s Edge. I think that story might have made two hundred bucks in the last year and a half. So, not worth trying. I’m happy with the series’ covers. All of them. The MM cover trends seem to be staying roughly the same. There are some cartoons and some dark fantasy covers, but mostly it’s still hot men. At least for contemporary. I do still play with the idea of paperbacks but I’ve never done well with those, I’ve never made back what I spent to produce them, so again, there is that. Audio… I’d love to. I can’t afford it. And there aren’t any narrators who can do a decent southern accent to save their lives, so, no. That’s not happening.

I do still consider trying Patreon again. I have no follow through, and no ideas how to keep it going. I don’t know what I’m going to do with the straight romances I’ve written. I hate that one football MM I’ve been delaying for years now. So… yeah. Not a clue as to what to do there. No support group. No one to talk any of this over with… blah blah blah.

I don’t craft anymore. I just bought new fabric that I saw and had to have but I have no urge to pull out the sewing machine, nor even what to make with it. So… blah. I think I’m going to start selling my jewelry making supplies. Maybe do one big grab bag/box. Again, BLAH!

And then there’s this website. It’s going to cost more than I make in a month of book sales just to renew for one year. I think May 12th or so will be the final day on here. I honestly think I’m just going to let it all go. I can’t muster any excitement for it, and anyone who reads my drivel can tell I’m done. I just haven’t had the guts to walk completely away yet. But that’s coming.

Anyway… that’s my thousand words for today.

Hope you are having a better week than I am.

Peace,

Mercy

Get ’em while they’re still in KU!