Mercy Celeste

Why did January drag on for three and a half years but it seems like February has an appointment somewhere and can’t wait to get there?

It was literally just January… UGH!

Anyway… it’s Super Bowl weekend. And I don’t give a single crap about either team. Like seriously… of course, I haven’t watched a single football game in two years now, so there is that.

It feels weird to not watch football. Really weird. I just don’t care about it anymore. And I don’t know why.

But if I had to pick a team, I’ll go with the 9’ers for Joe.

Speaking of football… I was interviewed by a writer for the Wall Street Journal last week. She said she was writing an article on football romance and found my name on GoodReads. I had to agonize over the invitation. Did I really want to open up that can of worms again? Will it be a positive article? So many mainstream publications treat the romance genre with disdain and only whip out an article around this time each year. I said many, not all. But even the half way decent articles can still come across as condescending. How will she present my work, if she uses it? Gay romance is still far outside mainstream even though there are now mainstream publishers willing to publish it. And gay football… I hate to imagine how that will go over. But I did it. I answered her questions honestly. Why I chose to write gay players. If I know anything about football. If I ever get details wrong… I do. I try not to, but I do. Er… did. Stuff like that. And now we wait. Wait to see if the article is even published. Wait to see if she uses my interview. Wait to see how much damage it might cause… SIGHS………………..

Why yes, I do have trust issues. Why do you ask? See Ellora’s Cave, Silver Publishing, Cobblestone Press, and Pride Publishing for details. Also answers the question as to why I haven’t pursued mainstream publishing and will likely only ever be self-published.

Which brings us back to the question of when will ___________ be released?

I haven’t written a word since November 2022. I don’t know when I’m going to write again. I don’t know if I want to write again. I don’t have anything to say. I don’t have a story to tell. and… unfortunately, don’t want to revisit old characters. Maybe one day. When they’re no longer a sore subject for me. When the hate and anger over those characters fades from my abused psyche… maybe then. I do not have skin thick enough to go through that again.

So… it is what it is.

I was told I suck too many times. I was told I was evil too many times. And I was told that someone should take my characters from me WAY too many times. I was told once that I should be shot…

My advice for new authors… buckle up. But who knows, maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones to come out unscathed with all of your royalties paid.

God, is it too much to ask to be one of the lucky ones? Just once I’d like to know how it feels to not be shit on for a change.

So… yeah, that’s about it for checking in in February. When I get further away from my birthday, maybe the less defeated I’ll feel. Until then… enjoy the game. Have fun. Hope your team wins.

And if you’re not a fan of the game, but are looking for a nice book to read… good luck finding any football romance in all that hockey.

Peace,

Mercy